A blog is a funny thing. When I set it up I made the decision to have it for my own personal pleasure – somewhere to write and have it set out in a nice-looking template, easily accessible on the web. But then people read it. And no matter how hard I try to dismiss it, I keep returning to the feeling that I need to post something regularly for those few readers. I know I don’t, but I have this creeping feeling that somehow my blog won’t be the same if I don’t. Which is ridiculous. I guess half the problem is that I often wander around devising blog compositions in my head or come-up with ideas for an entry. The issue for me is finding the time to sit down and actually write something.
I almost made it last night. I got home all set to write about the launch of the Roundtable on Violence Against Women I had just attended. I even started. I was going to talk about my recent trip to the Solomon Islands, and research underway there that is showing extraordinary high rates of violence against women, then relate this to our situation here. Not as a means of comparison, but simply to reflect on the global pervasiveness of violence against women by men. And to even go a bit further to consider the violence of men against men too. What is it about certain men or maleness that leads to all this violence? It isn’t all men, so it can’t be merely attributed to the physiology of being a man. I guess essentially it is about power. But how do we transform power relations to reduce violence?
Anyway, I digress. So I got home with grand plans to write. But then I had to do the washing, get lunch ready for today and help my husband, who is currently all but immobile. I had two phone calls to make. Finally, I sat down and began to write. Then the phone rang again – a friend I had been neglecting. So I abandoned the blog entry. It just wasn’t worth getting uptight about.
Between travel, caring for a sick husband, work and trying to find a little bit of time for myself, the blog is really the last priority. And when I’m so tired there isn’t much inspiration anyway.
But enough lamenting. I have it damn easy compared to others. My hopefully short-lived experiences caring for an unwell husband have me shaking my head in amazement at what many individuals do day in and day out. I just can’t say enough how much I admire those people, most of whom I have not even met.
So anyway, I have finally managed to get something down here. (I’m not really sure it says much, which is another one of my blogging issues – I don’t like writing just for the sake of it. I like to have a bit of a ‘story’ to share) And I am pleased to have achieved that. Who knows when I will be next – nothing like a bit of regular irregularity. I guess it has a sense of reliability in it.